After reading the headline, both men and women probably tensed. Men – in anticipation of confirmation of polygamy, women – with the hope of a refutation. Why are we looking for an answer to this question?
At one time, the psychologist Dmitry recognized the experiment. A couple of monkeys, a male and a female, were placed in different cells. The male was separated from his “lady” with a bars, but he could see her. At this time, another male was launched to the female. At some point, she was inferior to the harassment of a new lover, and the “legitimate” male through the bars observed their intercourse. A day later, the unfortunate had a heart attack. If the female cheated on the “legitimate” male behind the impenetrable wall and he was not aware of what was happening, this experiment was not reflected in his health.
Marital treason is a serious psychological trauma, not everyone can survive it on their own
It threatens the integrity of the family, destroying emotional, domestic, economic and even child-child relationships. That is why monogamy is a sociocultural choice aimed at preserving healthy family relationships and taking care of children, the family psychologist Olesya Shuvalova is convinced.
Live instincts or live consciously?
Yes, by nature a man is polygamous. Just like women. Otherwise, where men would take additional partners? Each person makes a choice for himself – to keep the partner fidelity or cross out this word from his vocabulary. And the choice depends on many factors, for example:
Following the relevant beliefs – “a good leftist strengthens the marriage”, “once it is considered”, “all men change” (you can continue this list);
The experience of a parental family, for example, when the child was aware of her father’s betrayal, saw that his mother forgives it, and took such a scenario of relations for the norm;
The internal values of a person (some choose love and responsibility, others – freedom and momentary pleasure).
Talking about the nature of men and women, we come to the consideration of mono- and polygamy not as a biological factor, but as a conscious choice, achievement of evolution and civilization, Olesya Shuvalova believes.
Indickers do not drown out instincts. A man, seeing a beautiful sexy girl, receives a signal from his body, feels excitement, desire. This is nature.
And the thought “my family is more expensive for me” is awareness, education and internal values
“All the motives of cheating are somehow convergently converged in a marriage relationship, so the dispute about polygamy is similar to finding excuses for itself. There is not enough understanding, warmth, support, emotional closeness, sex – and now the internal unconscious compass in the search, where to get them, ”the psychologist explains.
Everything happens as soon as a suitable object is injected – understanding, passionate, attentive. This is where the main argument is useful: “This is not me, this is my nature like that”. No responsibility and work on family relationships. Convenient, is it not true?
“Think for yourself, decide for yourself” – so sings in one famous song. But do not write off everything to nature and instincts. In vain we, or something, have evolved so much?
Men’s look: a woman is to blame?
The question of treason lies much deeper than the concept of polygamy, says neuropsychologist Philip Litvinenko. “From the point of view of physiology, nature has made a man such as to maintain the survival of a particular individual and the whole type. So that a man spreads his seed as often as possible and more, thereby increasing the likelihood of conception and extending the genus.
For nature and evolution, it does not matter who is true and who is not. It is only important for her to extend life. Someone is trying to spread their seed more actively, someone less, someone is able to restrain their instinct. This is a matter of personal choice “.
Women are less prone to betrayal than men, but not because of high moral qualities, but because of the laws of the same nature
The task of a woman is not to conceive life and to eat as many children as possible, but to create the most suitable conditions for survival as possible, the expert emphasizes. That is why there is such a thing as a maternal instinct, and such a thing as my father, there is no.
If you move away from physiology and evolutionary principles towards real relationships, then a man, especially if he is in demand and successful, is a lot of temptations. He looks, they look at him, the desire arises constantly: nature in a man wants to give another life. However, a modern socialized male representative is quite capable of withstanding this challenge.
“But sometimes it doesn’t work. Why? Because of a woman who is nearby, says Litvinenko. -If everything suits a man in a relationship, then it becomes more difficult to change-because of a feeling of guilt, and he decides not to cross the line. Yes, there are immoral types that will change
http://www.susqcoindy.com/PS/2018/08/24/recovering-from-the-flooding/
you in any case, but there are few of them, about 7-8% of the total. If the relationship is far from ideal, if a woman emotionally clings her partner and funny over him, then one day male resentment can accumulate and move over the edge. In this case, betrayal becomes a kind of punishment – a man gives himself permission, releasing his instincts to the will “.
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