Dear Dayna,
I always desired to choose a lesbian club, but I’m nervous that I am not cool adequate. How you discuss it is so incredible and enjoyable and stunning, but i am terrified I’m too introverted for this world. And even basically could get me to a bar, I think I would personally provide if I made an effort to strike on a lady. I truly should just go and make friends and locate a girlfriend, but my social stress and anxiety keeps getting in the way. What exactly are suggestions for a first time nerdy lesbian?
â Lesbian Urkle
Dear Lesbian Urkle,
I might experience the respect of giving advice as a lesbian intercourse and online dating blogger, but oh honey!
I panic my means through life
, which means you’ve come to the right spot for help. Though Im an anxious babe, I however on a regular basis head out, turn up and get together. Exactly how, you ask? Follow these easy steps: Hunt breathtaking, beverage and force yourself to speak with complete strangers.
Very first circumstances initial:
You’ll need a fresh ensemble
. I won’t rest for you â
yes, lesbian bars can be intimidating.
Indeed, the world can feel just a little cliquish. Certainly, the girls are hot and clothed impeccably. However know what more? Those exact same women are humans like everyone else and myself. They are off to have fun like everyone else and me personally. Plus they are probably touring for gender exactly like you and me. You know what more?
You can be just like cool and swaggy if you tackle your stress and anxiety.
When you have scored a hot brand-new getup (might I suggest black jeans and a leather jacket to relax and play it classic lez sophisticated?), you need to drink. We never mentioned this was healthier guidance! I’m a nightlife lez, not a fitness lez. Ingesting loosens you upwards, lowers your inhibitions and heightens the confidence. But do not take in too much. You think you really have personal anxiety today, woman? It is nothing set alongside the crushing-chest-head-fog-panic-shame-spiral you’ll feel should you wake up tomorrow perhaps not remembering yesterday evening. You may have a five-drink maximum, hottie.
More critical than consuming is being good. We always become significant mean-girl-mode as a defense process for how vulnerable I found myself feeling. I’d scowl at anyone that viewed me. I acted like I found myself too-good to talk to complete strangers. Today i will be constantly smiling and say to hi everybody. It is simpler and more enjoyable. I know it is appealing to put your tough-babe armour on when you’re feeling stressed, but getting susceptible and kind is a much better strategy to make friends and revel in yourself.
Living my fab life has actually taught me personally a very important thing: It isn’t really that really serious. Like, there is nothing. Especially lifestyle! Every day life is small. Absolutely nothing you do will truly matter (okay, now the Jenny Schecter in me is originating aside, cut the nihilism). In short, only say choose it, and have fun. In my opinion in you. And when the thing is that me personally out, come state hi!
Xoxo,
Dayna
Self-proclaimed dyke princess Dayna Troisi is proud to be relate publisher at GO Magazine. This woman is excited about lesbian gender + matchmaking, beauty + manner, along with her badass bionic supply. Counsel available in this column is intended for informational purposes only and must not change or replacement for any medical, or other professional advice or support.